Individual and Couples Therapy
Here you are, reading my website and probably feeling all sorts of things….
You may feel like you’re stuck, lost in life … You can’t seem to figure out what to do with yourself or how to move forward. Perhaps stress and anxiety are sucking the life out of you. Maybe you feel sad, really sad sometimes, even immobilized by sadness. The toll is heavy, and it may spill over onto your relationships: your partner, spouse, family members, friends, colleagues.
Whatever it is, you know you don’t feel how you should about yourself, and you are so over it. You are ready for positive change. You are ready to start embracing Empowered Freedom.
You may be wondering, “What’s ‘Empowered Freedom?’ It sounds kind of…odd.”
I get it… It may not sound like anything you’ve heard before (except maybe elsewhere on my website), so let me define it for you.
Empowered Freedom is a term that I coined that describes a way of being where you embody and live your authentic self. You are able to identify and differentiate your truest wants, needs, and desires apart from what others have told you what you should want. You are able to fulfill yourself without buying into self-defeating thoughts about how you are not good enough, or you don’t deserve fulfillment, or you’re afraid that others will think badly of you – or any other type of negative story.
These stories oftentimes are at the root of issues like anxiety, depression, unhealthy anger, poor interpersonal boundaries, communication problems, feeling lost and empty, and so on. Once these symptoms crop up, you will likely become prone to things like poor or failed relationships, struggles in the workplace or in your career, substance abuse and other addictions, excessive impulsivity and other self-destructive behaviors, self-harming behaviors, and other negative behavioral patterns.
In working through these issues, you become empowered to recognize and claim what you truly want, and you take action freely, with natural ease, to fulfill your needs and desires. Hence the term Empowered Freedom. Pretty cool, right!?
“Therapy might work for ‘regular’ people, but I feel like I am not like other people! I have special circumstances. People usually don’t ‘get’ me!”
I certainly understand that feeling! It can feel really lonely to be different and not understood. Maybe you’re the guy who is into cosplay, or the trans woman who is into bodybuilding. Perhaps you’re gender non-binary, asexual AND a first-generation American from an immigrant family. Whatever it is that makes you unique, my practice affirms and celebrates you!
“Well, that sounds great and all for individuals, but what about relationships? I am really struggling with my partner!”
Great question! The principles of Empowered Freedom apply to relationships as well as individuals. Consider this: It’s likely that the struggles you’re having in your relationship is at least in part tied to the fact that one or both of you are presenting a wounded, disempowered, and/or defensive self. Most of us experience some kind of pain or trauma in our life, and for some of us, the trauma is extreme. Oftentimes, this trauma occurs when we are children, a uniquely vulnerable phase of life. In an effort to try to cope and protect ourselves, we create scripts and stories about ourselves, about the others in our life, about the world in general, and our place in it. And the thing is, these stories often do help provide at least some defense while we are young,
However, when we become adults, we tend hang on to these childhood stories of self and play them out in our relationships. This is a big problem because as adults, these stories are no longer useful, and these stories make it very difficult for us to discern what is and isn’t a threat or a problem. We see our partners through the eyes of our younger wounded self, and we try to “defend” ourselves, which usually inflames the wounds of our partner, and vice versa…. This is why arguments seem like they repeat and repeat with no resolution.
When I work with you and your partner, I am looking to detangle all these stories and bring each of you back to your authentic self, and the reality of the present moment. From there we work to reestablish the true needs, wants and desires of each individual, then determine how your respective needs can be met within the context of the relationship, free of the burdens of the past.
Interested in learning more? Ready to start the therapeutic journey?
Awesome! Let’s take the next step! Contact me by phone or email, and I would be more than happy to talk to you further about what you’d like to work on in therapy, or if you’d like to learn more about me and my practice. I look forward to hearing from you!